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Writing and Research in the Workplace – ENG400

ENG400 Feedback comments to students

Academic year 2012/13



Students have individual coursework pages in which they may write notes as they develop their coursework assignments. They are encouraged to use the commenting feature to write questions as they work. The unit lecturer can post feedback using the same commenting feature. Comments written by each student is private.

The list below contains feedback comments written by the unit lecturer, but, without any student information. It is provided in case other students have similar questions.

Comment 100   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
The thinking and honesty in comments 3 and 4 are excellent. If you follow through and continue that type of thinking, it has the potential to transform your success at university and at work afterwards. In order to improve a situation - the person must first acknowledge that improvement is possible. Solutions to hard problems require this type of thinking. Keep up the good work.
Comment 99   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 8 and 9 are too general. They describe some facts and actions, but, does not demonstrate or indicate the thinking processes or analysis by the student.

Comment 6 is an improvement because it shows the student performing analysis, "to overcome these problems,I along with a friend taking the course with me, sat and talked the answer through the answer together", and then following through with a specific action, "talking through the question, helped to isolate the key bullet points". Most importantly, the writing involved the student.

Generally, try to avoid making general comments or re-stating facts. Instead, focus on what the issues or facts mean to you personally or how did you use that information in a personal context.
Comment 98   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Please read the comments written about what other students have written and review the marking criteria. After reviewing the comments and marking criteria, please see me before or after class to discuss any questions.
Comment 97   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(78 marks) x (5 students) = 390 team marks to allocate
[A] an ability to avoid the obvious and show insights that are individual and often unexpected
[A] an awareness of stated and unstated meanings of public information about the selected current events issue
[A] a willingness to reflect and make connections between the selected current events issue, the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype and personal experiences
[A] thorough consideration of key aspects of the selected current events issue
[B] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language, body posture and personal appearance that suggest a level of comfort
[B] a capacity to consistently use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[B] an ability to use presentation structure and style to express personal viewpoints, as well as following conventional writing requirements
Comment 96   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(66 marks) x (5 students) = 330 team marks to allocate
[A] a willingness to reflect and make connections between the selected current events issue, the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype and personal experiences
[B] an ability to absorb and interpret public information about the selected current events issue
[B] thorough consideration of key aspects of the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] a capacity to consistently use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] an ability to follow conventional writing requirements, but with minimal awareness of presentation structure and style
Presentation delivery exceeded time limit.
Comment 95   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(64 marks) x (5 students) = 320 team marks to allocate
[A] a willingness to reflect and make connections between the selected current events issue, the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype and personal experiences
[B] an ability to absorb and interpret public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] a capacity to use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Comment 94   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(62 marks) x (5 students) = 310 team marks to allocate
[B] an awareness of connections between the selected current events issue, the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype and personal experiences
[B] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language, body posture and personal appearance that suggest a level of comfort
[B] a capacity to consistently use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Comment 93   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(62 marks) x (5 students) = 310 team marks to allocate
[B] an awareness of connections between the selected current events issue, the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype and personal experiences
[B] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language, body posture and personal appearance that suggest a level of comfort
[B] a capacity to consistently use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Comment 92   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(60 marks) x (4 students) = 240 team marks to allocate
[B] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language, body posture and personal appearance that suggest a level of comfort
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[C] a capacity to use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Comment 91   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(60 marks) x (5 students) = 300 team marks to allocate
[B] an awareness of connections between the selected current events issue, the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype and personal experiences
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Presentation delivery exceeded time limit.
Comment 90   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(60 marks) x (5 students) = 300 team marks to allocate
[B] a capacity to consistently use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Presentation delivery exceeded time limit.
Comment 89   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(60 marks) x (5 students) = 300 team marks to allocate
[B] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language, body posture and personal appearance that suggest a level of comfort
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] a capacity to use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Presentation delivery exceeded time limit.
Comment 88   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(56 marks) x (5 students) = 280 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
Presentation delivery exceeded time limit.
Comment 87   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(56 marks) x (5 students) = 280 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[D] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[D] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
[D] some consideration of the selected current events issue
Comment 86   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(54 marks) x (5 students) = 270 team marks to allocate
[B] an ability to absorb and interpret public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] a capacity to use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[FAIL] minimal effort to follow conventional writing requirements
Presentation delivery exceeded time limit.
Comment 85   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(52 marks) x (5 students) = 260 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[FAIL] minimal effort to follow conventional writing requirements
Comment 84   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(50 marks) x (4 students) = 200 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
[FAIL] minimal awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
Comment 83   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(50 marks) x (5 students) = 250 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[D] some consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
[FAIL] minimal awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
Comment 82   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(48 marks) x (4 students) = 192 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to deliver the presentation, but, often with technical, verbal or personal distractions
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a lack of presentation structure and a number of avoidable mistakes
[FAIL] minimal awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
Comment 81   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(48 marks) x (5 students) = 240 team marks to allocate
[C] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language and personal appearance that do not distract the audience
[D] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[D] some consideration of the selected current events issue
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
[FAIL] minimal awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
Comment 80   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(48 marks) x (2 students) = 96 team marks to allocate
[B] an ability to deliver the presentation with verbal language, body posture and personal appearance that suggest a level of comfort
[C] an ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[C] a capacity to use graphics for emphasis and clarity
[C] casual consideration of the selected current events issue
[FAIL] minimal awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
[FAIL] minimal effort to follow conventional writing requirements
Comment 79   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
(42 marks) x (4 students) = 168 team marks to allocate
[D] an attempt to deliver the presentation, but, often with technical, verbal or personal distractions
[D] an attempt to follow conventional writing requirements, but with a number of avoidable mistakes
[D] some consideration of the selected current events issue
[FAIL] lack of effort or ability to find and use public information about the selected current events issue
[FAIL] minimal awareness of the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype
Comment 78   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 1-3 are in the right direction. There are some details (e.g. presentation in high school, read from cards, etc), but, much of it was still too general. It is more effective to think about specific parts of your experience when trying to reflect and learn from your experience.

The main problem is that you did not write anything until Feb 21. Please keep a more consistent habit of work going forward. Please read the coursework marking criteria about the importance of consistency.
Comment 77   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
In comment 5, you mention "from personal experience", but, you don't actually describe any SPECIFIC examples from personal experience. The ideas in your writing are generally good, but, they could be much more powerful and effective if you supported them with specific examples from your personal experience. When did you CHANGE your way of thinking after listening or watching a presentation? Who benefits more, the presenter or the audience? Do you need to be in front of people in order to make a presentation or is it a skill that you can use even in one-to-one situations? How can you practice this skill in ALL units that you study?
Comment 76   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
One way to handling difficult situations is to break it down into smaller parts and look for small victories that can help you to build confidence towards dealing with the bigger challenges. Write about specific situations that you've found difficulty and start with the smallest situations that you could positively resolve. Then, work your way to larger situations. Start by thinking about specific situations.
Comment 75   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
You can still use the pirating topic, but, you'll need to be careful about which resource could be gradually overused or abused. Using the Tragedy of the Commons systems archetype does not mean that the resource is ALWAYS being depleted. Sometimes, such as in your topic, we use the systems archetype to show that common beliefs are actually wrong! Think about which belief could be shown to be wrong by using your analysis.
Comment 74   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 1 and 2 show good awareness of your personal goals. You described several positive concrete steps that you took outside of your studies to support your personal goals. Within your studies, which learning habits or skills could fit well with your personal traits and support your goals?
Comment 73   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 3 has a few small examples relating to your experience. Expand on your ideas by considering more details. For example, is the Internet really required for you to write your coursework or does the Internet provide a different benefit than the typing functionality?
Comment 72   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
In comment 4, you wrote "thinking that something will be good or bad is often completely different to how it actually is". What type of habits and skills could help your studies and your career so that you are more prepared for such situations?
Comment 71   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Which factors and criteria might be useful for comparison to help you make the decision described in comment 15?
Comment 70   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 14 is a good continuation of the discussion from lecture. Which specific examples from your own experience could make that discussion and your conclusion more convincing?
Comment 69   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 3 is an improvement because it has more specific examples from your own experiences. Expand on your writing by considering how your previous experiences, your prior skills and your study habits affect your studies at university. How could you improve the success of your studies at university?
Comment 68   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 13 is too general. Using specific examples could make it easier to observe patterns that you could apply to other tasks.
Comment 67   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
You started comment 12 with "There are many novice computer users". Do you believe that comment 12 applies to you as an engineering student at university? If not, why might it be important and useful for you to have a more in depth understanding than a "novice computer user"?
Comment 66   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 3 is a good reflection on the lecture discussion and your prior experience. You reached a thoughtful and useful conclusion.

Comment 4 has general considerations and questions, but, needs more specific examples from your experience. For example, when you wrote, "some challenges in the early stages of the learning process", it would be useful to consider specific examples of such challenges. Practice is a good approach to gain confidence.
Comment 65   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 1 is a general description without any relation to your own experience. Expand your individual writing coursework by considering and writing about specific personal experiences. Another way to expand on your individual writing coursework is to answer the questions we discussed in lectures. Then, read the marking criteria carefully and write about the topics that are mentioned in the marking criteria. It may also be useful to read the comments that have been written to the other students. All feedback comments written by the unit lecturer to students are available from the unit website.
Comment 64   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 6 demonstrate your enthusiasm and interest in building electronics. Comment 7 is a thoughtful consideration of a very difficult question - especially your realization that "the question itself can be a dangerous concept". Continue where you stopped at the end of comment 7 to see where it takes you. For example, is it possible that NOT making an intentional decision is actually a decision in itself (called the default decision)?
Comment 63   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Have you tried using in other units the approach and ideas you wrote about summarising? If you did, was it as effective as you anticipated? If you did not try using it, why not?
Comment 62   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 7 and 8 show good efforts to apply and reflect on topics discussed in lectures. In particular, taking time to use CLD with your own topic is very good practice. Do you use a similar approach to all units that you study? If you do, is the amount of effectiveness the same for all units? If you don't use a similar approach in other units, why not?
Comment 61   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
One way to get started on your individual writing coursework is to answer the questions we discussed in lectures. Then, read the marking criteria carefully and write about the topics that are mentioned in the marking criteria. It may also be useful to read the comments that have been written to the other students. All feedback comments written by the unit lecturer to students are available from the unit website.
Comment 60   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Do not upload MS Word documents for your journal. Use the comments form and add each entry as you write. It's quick and makes it easy to read it in chronological manner.
Comment 59   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Try to expand on your writing by considering and writing about specific personal experiences. For example, how did you approach solving the problems in the first worksheet as compared to the approach you are using now with the later worksheets? Could this approach be used for other units?
Comment 58   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 3 contained several possible steps that you were considering to help with one unit. Did you follow through and tried those steps? If so, were they effective and could you use a similar approach for other units? If you did not follow through, what factors caused you not to take those steps?
Comment 57   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 11, 13 and 15 show a positive trend of improvements. They contain the key systems involved in email exchange on the Internet.

The writing contains many acronyms for systems, e.g. MUA and MTA. Think about how you could make it more clear for a non-technical reader by using a phrase that is more convenient than the acronym. For example, "the email software on your computer" instead of MUA.

Did you use research to write comments 11, 13 and 15? If so, what have you learned about performing secondary research? Could you use similar research skills for other topics and units?
Comment 56   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Hopefully, the discussion in lecture last week was useful for your presentation topic. A key point from the discussion was that your topic of interest may not be exactly the same as the resource intended for analysis.
Comment 55   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
The writing is along the right direction for the coursework. Comments 1 and 2 are too general. Comments 3 and 4 are better because they describe specific examples from your own experience. Connecting specific examples from your experience to concepts from your units will help you learn and apply the concepts.

Can you bring any of the good experience from working with your lab partner to working with your group presentation coursework? Comment 4 is a good idea. How is that working to help you with preparing for the group presentation coursework?
Comment 54   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 5 makes a good point about the importance of making mistakes in the learning process.

Your idea in comment 6 sounds very promising. Did you follow through your idea? How is it working out? Has it been useful for you in relating your studies to your goals after university?
Comment 53   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Is there a way that you can use your interests in cycling and squash to improve your university studies? Whose responsibility is it to make life interesting? What would you consider to be interesting? Would it be the same for other students?

Your description of email was brief. Have you considered any of the research methods discussed in class to help improve your knowledge of email?
Comment 52   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your writing clearly demonstrate your enthusiasm and comfort with computer network administration. There are several good analogies (e.g. "bullets of data" and "cool the processor down") in your writing.

What could you do to improve your success at university as well as success after university? What type of learning habits and skills could you improve or acquire?
Comment 51   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
What about other units? Which skills have you acquired? Are they affected by your previous experience working with motorcycles?
Comment 50   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Did you apply the ideas in comment 6? If yes, did it have the effect you expected? If not, why did you decide not to try it?
Comment 49   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 1 and 2 clearly demonstrate your enthusiasm for computing topics. Which goals could you set to expand upon your existing skills and experiences?

One possibility is to make a habit of comparing what you already know to a different area. For example, starting with your description of email, make a comparison with other methods of communications, e.g. how is email similar to SMS or twitter, how is it different, why would a person prefer one method over the other methods? Starting with your thoughts about summarising, think about where else outside of education that we perform summarising activities, e.g. are photos a method of summarising?
Comment 48   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 1 is a good start into thinking about your own goals. What could you do to help increase the probability of success towards the goal you defined?

Comment 2 is too general. Have you been affected by any such sources of propaganda? When is propaganda not useful? When is propaganda useful?
Comment 47   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 13-15 show good attempts to link several units to your goals. Try to continue those thoughts in more details. Which skills are improving? Where did you get the impression that those particular skills would be useful? Can you find any examples that would help you establish the value of those skills? Is there anything you can do to get more from those units?
Comment 46   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
How was your research about how email works? Like we discussed in class, it is normal that many people do not NEED to know how products are built - computers, cars, buildings, bridges, etc. But, in order to participate or contribute within a specific industry, it becomes necessary to know how products are built.

Your description about SMART TV as being TVs that are connected to the Internet. Do you think that is the same for people? Does having access to the Internet make people smart? Does not having access to the Internet make people dumb? If two people have access to the Internet, how would you decide which person is smarter? Which characteristics about you personally that make you a smart person? Are those characteristics dependent or affected by having access to the Internet?
Comment 45   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Linking the Andrew Blum video to another unit that you are studying is a good example of reflection. The comment about causal loop diagrams is positive, but, too general. Can you find specific personal situations that you could analyze using causal loop diagrams?
Comment 44   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 5 describes several different styles of learning. Which one is most effective for you? What are you doing at lectures or labs to help emphasize your preferred learning style?

You also describe reciting notes as revision. Is recitation the same as learning and understanding?
Comment 43   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
The positive step is that you wrote about a question that we discussed in lecture. Add specific examples from your own experiene to help you think about the question in more details.

Read the marking criteria carefully and write about the topics that are mentioned in the marking criteria.
Comment 42   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your writing contains several good examples of using summaries. Does simplicity make a good summary? What else might make a good summary?
Comment 41   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Good general ideas. Write your own summary for practice.
Comment 40   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 9 described some issues related to computer usage. Which knowledge was helpful when fixing those computers? With the benefit of hindsight, was there any information that you thought could have been helpful to know in order to do a better job of fixing computers?
Comment 39   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 8 is a description of some issues related to email usage. But, it is not a summary of how email works.
Comment 38   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 4 is a good summary of some points from lecture. It will be easier to remember and understand those points if you relate them to specific examples from your own experiences.
Comment 37   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 11 is a proactive approach to setting goals to improve your learning skills. A less stressful approach might be to study in shorter durations, but, more frequently. If you get distracted easily, then, plan your work in short durations like 20 or 30 minutes. Then, get up and do something else. Repeating a series of short durations might be more achievable than aiming for a long duration. As your study skills improve, then, it will be easier to gradually increase the duration of your study sessions.
Comment 36   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 4 has good examples of developing and using leadership and teamwork skills. How could you apply those skills to your studies? For example, how could you take your experience with the rowing club to use with the Group Presentation coursework?
Comment 35   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
That is a good description of a lab session. You identified the lack of prior experience with Linux as a factor that made the lab difficult. Which other factors could also have affected your progress? How was your preparation? Could your study habits and learning skills also affect your progress?
Comment 34   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments 8 and 9 are positive steps to re-write as a way to improve your learning. Add specific examples to help you think about how you might improve on your learning style. Then, think about several realistic and concrete goals that could help you make incremental progress in your learning style.
Comment 33   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Based on comment 3, what would the group now identify as the resource to be addressed in the presentation? How is that resource being overused or abused?
Comment 32   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
The notes show good potential. Plan your research work and try to organise your research results and discussions.
Comment 31   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Try to expand on your writing by considering and writing about specific personal experiences. Then, you can use that to think about how to link your existing views to possible goals you might set for yourself and the steps that might be required.
Comment 30   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
An interesting possibility for a topic, but, it will need careful discussion in your group so that it meets the coursework requirements.
Comment 29   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 7 has a good description of diligence as a personal trait that you've developed in the past several years. You may want to expand on that by thinking of specific topics in specific units where that personal trait has been a positive factor. Are there situations when that personal trait did not produce the results you anticipated? Why might that happen?
Comment 28   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 5 goes back to being a general description without any relation to your own experience.
Comment 27   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comment 4 is an improvement because it includes your work experience. Can you improve on it by using your work experience to write a better summary of how email works?
Comment 26   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your writing has some general ideas. Use specific examples from your own experience to help you think more closely about those general ideas. For example, when you wrote, "acceptable standard", it could have different meanings to different people. Which examples from your own experiences do you consider to be at that standard, below or above it? Will your time at university affect your view of standards?
Comment 25   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
You've written one entry in your journal. You need to develop a more consistent habit of reflecting on what you are learning at university and writing about it. Your entry use general descriptions, e.g. "responsible and diligent in all situations", and it does not have specific goals. Think about specific topics you're studying in your units. What are your specific goals while at university? How are your goals related to the units that you are currently studying?
Comment 24   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Do not upload MS Word documents for your journal. Use the comments form and add each entry as you write.
Comment 23   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Which resource is being overused or abused? Not all controversial topics are due to overuse or abuse of a resource.
Comment 22   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
It is excellent that you can find examples from your daily life and relate that to engineering concepts and work. How does your experiences affect your goals at university and after graduation?
Comment 21   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your summary of email placed a good emphasis on the asynchronous nature of email. Is there anything that you could research to better understand the details of that asynchronous behaviour?
Comment 20   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your religious beliefs come through very well in your writing. Think specifically about how your religious beliefs affect your goals at the university and after graduation. Go further than just general statements. Try to use specific examples from your past experience and consider if you might act differently now with the benefits of time and learning.
Comment 19   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Do not upload MS Word documents for your journal. Use the comments form and add each entry as you write.
Comment 18   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
There is no document uploaded to this page.
Comment 17   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
One way to get started on your individual writing coursework is to answer the questions we discussed in lectures. Then, read the marking criteria carefully and write about the topics that are mentioned in the marking criteria.
Comment 16   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Read the marking criteria carefully. An important goal of the coursework is to encourage students to develop a habit for reflecting on their own progress and goals. By writing in Mosaic, the timestamps of each entry shows whether the student is developing such a habit. Only entries added to your Mosaic coursework page are considered as part of your coursework submission. If you want to write using MS Word, remember to copy and paste it into Mosaic each time after you write.
Comment 15   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
It is encouraging to read that you can link personal interests such as cars, snowboarding and legos to your career goals. Perhaps you can think more about how those personal interests can link to current units, and in turn, how those units might link to your career goals.

If you prefer a visual learning style, perhaps you can investigate other methods of taking notes instead of typing during lecture. For example, you could try to create visual summaries of lecture topics rather than writing or typing notes. There are many different approaches to creating visual summaries.
Comment 14   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
The use of an analogy for explanation is very effective, especially the part about a postage stamp acting as a protocol. The usage of SMTP in the third paragraph is correct, but, it is incorrect in the fifth paragraph. You may be interested to research about the use of other protocols used for email.
Comment 13   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
The presentation topic looks good. It may be useful to have a more detailed plan for research.
Comment 12   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Re-writing will help you to develop better habits and make writing easier in the future.
Comment 11   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
How can you use your familiarity with Maslow's hierarchy of needs concept to help you select goals for your university studies and even after graduation? For example, if respect is important, which skills can you improve while at university that could affect the respect from others?
Comment 10   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your writing is a thoughtful reflection about why the determination and a visual learning style are important to you. Knowing they are important to you, is there anything that you can do to make your university studies more successful? For example, would it be useful if you attempted to visually summarise each lecture for all your units? That would force you to decide whether you understand the lecture topics. It would have the extra benefits of creating visual learning materials that you can use for revision later in the year and before exams.
Comment 9   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Your description of email mixes computer network concepts and email concepts. Try and see if there is a way to separate the concepts, which would force you to consider in more details the relationship between computer networks and email systems.
Comment 8   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Good questions for your research. It is a good example of taking initiative to learn on your own outside of the classroom.
Comment 7   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Is that description of email an accurate reflection of your knowledge? Is there something that you want to learn more? What could make it easier when explaining to another person?
Comment 6   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
That is a good start at thinking about your learning habits. Try to consider specific examples when you found a particular learning habit to be effective and when you found it not effective. Over time, it may be easier to see a pattern.
Comment 5   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Comments on the coursework page of each student is only visible to that student and the unit lecturer. You have some good ideas in comment 1 to answer to the question from lecture. Make the ideas more effective by using specific examples from your past experience to help support your ideas. When you consider a specific example from your experience - take time to think about if there might be anything you would do differently now. You have good thoughts about the housing issue. Organise your thoughts to express the main point and any specific suggestions.
Comment 4   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Good answers to the questions from lecture. You may want to expand by including yourself in the answers. Has it affected you in the past? How might it affect you in the future? Is there a specific aspect that relates to your own experiences?
Comment 3   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
Great start on the coursework. Besides saving time and money, you may want to consider whether biking affects your attitude towards other activities such as university studies and work. When personal interests and professional interests reinforce each other - it creates a spiral upwards effect.
Comment 2   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
That is a good start to your coursework. You mentioned some very good examples. The next step is to consider how these general ideas and examples may relate to your own experience and your own goals.
Comment 1   by Moderator   @ 1970-01-01 00:00
That is exactly the type of thinking required for the coursework. You may want to consider further about which specific skills are involved when working with your motorcycle and how they affect your work experience and your studies at university.